feb 5 07

i was driving out to a house in the middle of nowhere, it was snowing like crazy. i tried to call my mom and tell her she didn't have to pick me up.

i was imprisoned in a big old house that was sort of like a museum, but an old woman owned it and she was holding us prisoner. there were three of us who couldn't escape. the guard there was working for her, he was always on the computer working out deals for smuggling cocaine into the country. he was really nice, and he was also a prisoner, except that he worked for the lady and she paid him.

there was a big black woman lawyer who wore a flowery mu mu and one of those cylindrical hats. she always came and went. we wanted to escape from the lady but it was scary. we knew she'd find us wherever we went.

we tried all sorts of things, i faked an injury, and we went into the museum and grabbed things heavy enough to hit her with, but when it came down to it, i was too afraid to try and hit her, in case it didn't knock her out. she sent us to get some "gendarmes" which turned out to be really old bicycles from WW1, and while we went to get them we once again tried to find something to hit her with, and once again chickened out.

finally, the woman went away for a day or 2, and we convinced the cocaine guy to help us. at first he said he wouldn't do it, and we went outside all sad. after a few minutes, he came out dressed as the big lawyer lady and started yelling at us in an impression of her voice, things like "hurry up, i'm not waiting all day". this made the neighbours not be suspicious of our leaving, since we were leaving with the lawyer lady. we went off with him / her through the woods in the back of people's yards.

jan 28 07

i was on my way to work, and kristy stopped to give me my guitar stand, but instead of folding it up, like i asked, she had taken it completely apart. i was really really upset. she offered me whiskey at 8am in the parking lot of my store.


feb 1 07

i was at a giant festival overseas. melanie was there as well. we were waiting for our food, which consisted of giant thick waffles, drenched with chocolate and whipped cream. i wanted seconds, but the cook had an auction, and a guy won the last one for 75 dollars, whereas i only had 33 dollars. plus, i was thinking that it would suck to go the rest of the festival with no money.

i ran into my doctor, who was a tattoo artist. he wanted to draw something on me, a giant scene from a movie, with 4 separate shots, one on each of my arms and legs. he did it in a weird way, made a grid out of string about a centimetre off the surface of my skin. the pictures were of nude men. i tried to make sure he knew i didn't want a tattoo. his wife came in and he started ignoring me, so i left.

carlito, carlito.

i was at my uncle and aunt's place for the night. my unrelated cousin was there and she was going to go partying with my brother and his friend. so i went for the drive.

they arrived at the large field at the top of my parents street. there was a semi-road built through the hay where cars were approaching the party barn and lots of people already present. i realized that the car we drove was a standard, and that someone would have to drive me back as i wasn't staying.

carleton became very angry and started yelling nasty things at me and getting that look in his eyes from when we were kids and i would pick on him so bad and he would be more than ready to kick my ass. then he picked up a telephone (with hundreds of feet of cord running from the barn) and chucked the receiver at my face.

mom and dad appeared (?) and took us both to their house down the road where they sooked me and made carleton apologize. on the wall, there was a chronology of my life from 5 pictures my parents had. another aunt had taken those pictures home, scanned them to one piece of glossy paper, titled it something about my life, and thumb tacked it to the wall.