we were in the car, on the way home. my parents were in the front seats. they seemed upset. "are you going to tell her?" they asked each other. i demanded to know. they told me that since my female dog, sady, was now obviously pregnant, they had my male dog, jake, put to sleep. they said he was bothering her and that they wouldn't trust him with the puppies. i was incensed! surely there were other things we could have done... we could have given him away, he was a beautiful friendly dog. or we could have even kept him upstairs in our house until the puppies were grown up. i had the feeling they planned to put him down in this event and kept it secret from me the whole time. i felt so frustrated and betrayed and sad.


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my dad and i were walking the perimeter of a newly sown field. parts had plants sprouting, and parts were just black, tilled earth. it was night time, but there was bright moonlight bathing everything. i felt totally peaceful. i was walking along these 2 wooden planks that were on the edge. i wanted to walk around the whole field, but we came upon a house and my dad thought we were on someone else's property so we turned back the way we came. i touched the black soil and it was soft and cool and light because it had just been turned.
we came upon a shed and dad made me go in and use the CB radio. i was making an announcement, but i don't remember what it was. he said it was my chance to make him proud.