8:00 AM

i was in your place.

jan 22

albert and kolin ran a school. there were lots of activities that happened there between 8 and 11 pm. i was doing something, but i told albert i'd be there at 10 to help out. later i realized i had to work from 10 to 11, so i couldn't go. i was really unhappy because i wanted to go to meet the ranger who protected the woods around the school (like aragorn from lord of the rings), who occasionally came in to teach the kids. no one liked him, but i was sure i'd understand him. when i finally met him though, he acted like a creepy old man.

then i was the main character in a movie, everything was seen from my point of view, and you never got to see my face. i was breaking into and out of apartments constantly, doing crazy flips and jumps all the time. by the end of it, i was doing all the breaking into and out of everywhere to avoid the creepy ranger guy. i put a cake into a cake competition with a student of mine. i couldn't go down to look at the cake because i was avoiding the ranger.

a giant gross looking pig was guarding the cake. the pig was either a) me b) a guardian spirit to protect me from the ranger or 3) a pig i hired to guard the cake. i don't think the pig was me, because i did a bunch of window flips that i assume a 400 pound pig incapable of.

the ranger still managed to see my cake because he called into the contest and said "that little chocolate one behind the pig, that's a mighty fine cake. it gets my vote", so my cake won because he was one of the celebrity judges. i was mortified, but my partner, the little girl, was standing by the cake and the pig and was beaming. then the narrators voice said "she finally won something, and that's all that matters" and then CREDITS started rolling even thought it didn't feel like the end of the story.

jan 14 07

i was playing in a giant school with yellow. i took some of the stuff out to the van or whatever. i tried to find my way back to the place we had played, but i couldn't find it. i was also looking for a new hat.

i told a friendly teacher guy of my 2 objectives. i learned that the cafeteria or wherever it was that we played was about to be destroyed, you know, wrecking balls and all that stuff. i was upset because my tuner and all my cables were still in there. i ws determined to get there before the room was demolished. the teacher i was with pointed out the hat store, and i asked if we were near the other room, and he said "oh no, that's way down there, i'll take you" but he was so interested in looking at the hats he wouldn't tell me exactly where the other room was.

i didn't think i could find it on my own. plus i wanted to be polite, and really, how long could it take to look at hats. this guy was SUPER interested in these hats, because they were made by his art students. i picked up a hat that was too small for me and i tried to stretch it a bit, but it stretched HUGE and i put it down really quick so no one would see that i'd ruined the hat.

finally i got fed up and left. i went into another door and saw some art students. they were going to show me where the room was but the got distracted and walked back into the room where i just was. it was an art supplies store / cafe type of thing.

i followed them to a door in the very back of the room, which opened up to a giant beach. it was night time. the proprietor of the store was an old woman who was a great artist (or the art girls thought so anyway). she had put an easel on the shore, even in the waves, and the art girls thought this was a genius idea, even without seeing or knowing anything about what was being painted on it.

-----------------------------------------

my niece and i were in an airport in australia. we hung out in the airport for a long time because we were so excited to be in australia, and every time someone spoke to us in an australian accent we would get very excited. we eventually went outside, and there were jungle like trees everywhere.

sometimes the sidewalk would delve into a bank of earth, and if the earth was dark brown, there would always be a half naked guy or two guarding it with a spear for some reason. even if the patch of earth was only a few feet. i thought about going to new zealand, but i felt like i couldn't because it would be copying off of jacky. i really wanted to go to new zealand.

-----------------------------------------

i was walking with 4 guys to a fancy house. when we get there, we went in and through to the veranda on the back. there was a bear creeping up on us. one of the guys made a scary face and scared away the bear. we went back inside, but one of the guys liked the bear and went outside and fed it bits of fish and octopus.

dec 25 06

i was in toronto visiting megan h. as we walked to her apartment, 3 boys proposed to her.

thousands of army men with guns in my backyard. and everywhere. i had to hide beneath the window. then they knocked on my door.

last week.

when i tried to call 911, they couldn't hear me. then he threw himself backwards off the apartment balcony next door.
this time, 911 heard me and sent over ambulances and other sirened vehicles.
when i looked down from my balcony, there were lights and paramedics wheeling a stretcher with an empty body bag back into the ambulance.
a broken machine laid where i expected to see his bloody body.

dec 19 06

it was my mom's birthday. my nieces and i started putting out the christmas presents. when we were halfway done, we realized it wasn't christmas, but only my mom's birthday, so we started putting them back. some of them were shaped like giant gingerbread men, and wrapped in the shape of gingerbread men. when i went back downstairs, my sister had taken the tree. everything. including all the ornaments, the little rug that goes under it, and everything. i asked her why she took it, and she said she just wanted it. my mom let her take it. i was so disappointed, because now for christmas, all the presents just had to sit on a bare patch of floor.

if i remember all my dreams,
the time when i was sleeping
hasn't just disappeared

thunder bay

oct 30 06

my parents and i were in the far north. everything was cold, cold. there wasn't any food left. i agreed that they could cook me and eat me. i saw a guy whose head had been cooked and i decided i didn't want them to cook me and eat me after all. i tried to get my parents to come with me and leave to try and find food, but it was really hard for them to walk because their legs were being cooked slowly, and their muscles didn't work anymore. it was really scary and sad.

oct 19 06

we were at a party at angelo s's. he gave lachie some acid and then lachie did coke. his skin turned grey and bags formed under his eyes and it made him look really old all of a sudden, and everyone was really concerned about him.

i got home from tour and my boss immediately called me in to work. when i got there there were three workers in red shirts putting price tags on everything, and there was a big black cash register. they were pinning things up on clotheslines, and cooking food. i couldn't believe how different the store was when i got back, i'd only been gone for a few weeks. i didn't know why my boss bought a new cash register.

sept 11

i was in a city that felt like st john's but seemed much bigger - though i think it was sydney, or at least halifax. i was with some people, getting ready for a night on the town.

i knew of a party that i was really looking forward to attending. it was melissa's going away party. this was going to be the last time i'd ever see her.
on the way to the party, i met up with her on the road. she had a bag of cheap jewelery and we laughed about it for a while, as we walked down taylor street.
she said she had something to show me before she left. her tone was flat, it was like she was using up the very last of her anger and disappointment and resentment, on the way to forgiveness. it was a tired sort of anger. i started to realize where we were headed - first brook, this place me and melissa used to hang out when we were younger. it made me feel remorseful and nostalgic. so nostalgic it was almost tangible.

i was looking through a book like a program, i found it in the bag with the cheap jewelery. it was filled with pictures, and as i turned the pages, the pictures became recognizable. i started to cry, and just then i looked up and we were there. i saw those same pictures in black and white - pictures of me and melissa in all of the memorable moments we've shared together - huge, billboard sized photos, ranged along the valley and lit with floodlights.

in the castle, being chased by the scary guy i came upon this dead end room.


i chose big.



uh oh. big seems to mean that everything (except me and my team) was really really big. plus we were in a department store / grocery store. (back then they didn't exist. hello foreshadowing.)



we were there for a really long time. that meant we had to raid the freezers for food. eventually we made a car out of a wire. or maybe we stole it from the mice. it was good for avoiding the giant humans. we didn't want to be squashed or turned into experiments.



we tried to escape through a ventilation grate. i don't know if we made it or not.

sept 3 06

kolin from the upstairs was a priest. i was hanging out with him, and he asked me if i wanted to do his sermon that night. i said "yeah, sure" before i thought about it. so the time rolls around, i was in jeans and a t-shirt and i realized i knew nothing about the bible / had nothing to say to these people. i started crying because i knew i just couldn't do it. i just imagined a church full of people sitting there waiting for a priest to come out, but no one would. but there was nothing i could do. i went down later, and kind of, snuck in the side door to see what had happened, and kolin was there and a girl was there playing the guitar, and he was talking to her in front of the congregation. it actually looked kind of fun, and i felt bad for making such a big scene. but he had found someone else, and didn't want me to do it after that because i was clearly crazy.

sept 1 06

i was with ian, we were waiting for a wedding to start. the groom hadn't shown up yet, and the wedding was going to start whenever he came. ian and i decided to go get something he'd forgotten in north sydney, and if we heard from the groom, we'd rush back over. so when we were in NS, of course the groom showed up. ian decided that to save time, he'd just drive straight across the harbour, over the thin, newly formed ice floes. all he had to do was drive really fast. we ended up underwater. somehow we were rescued by someone. i was very very angry with ian for recklessly endangering my life, and he was very indignant about my anger.

my favorite

august 9 06

i was in an attic, and came across a whole family of people who were supposed to have died long ago. they might have been ghosts, but i didn't know. they convinced me to let them fly the plane i was supposed to be flying. they seemed like they knew what they were doing. the mother crashed the plane into something big, maybe a bus. i was very upset and i started crying, because how could i explain to the police that i let a ghost fly my plane, and therefore it was the ghost, and not me, that was responsible for the deaths of all of those innocent people.

aug 4 06

i was losing all my hair. my forehead was expanding, and my part was widening. i was upset. then i was on a starship, something like the death star from star wars. everything was going fine, until the people i was with figured out the malicious nature of our invitation to the star ship - our hosts ate people.

all of the food we'd been served was either people or it was plants grown from nutrients gotten from human bodies. we started wandering around, trying to act normal, while looking out for ways to escape. i passed by a giant ballroom, now dark, and thought it would be a great place to hide later.

somehow we made it to the surface of a planet and tried to escape. huge boulders were being shot into the sky and then exploding, raining shrapnel down upon us. shane was hit in the shoulder by a piece of the shrapnel. he was hurt by it, but it didn't do any serious harm. the rock was heavy but malleable, the chunk that hit him had an impression of his arm, even the grain of the fabric of his shirt. it was like metal clay. they weren't trying to kill us right away, just trying to frighten us and bludgeon us slowly to death.

july 1 2006
melissa had a baby and it got stolen. and then i put together a puzzle shaped like a giant clock.

july 9 2006
i was imprisoned on an island. with the help of strange mole-people, i escaped. trying to hide in the scrubby underbrush while wearing a bright red shirt was really difficult. and i had no where to escape to, since it was an island. the mole people were nice, though.

glenn and the sloth

may 22 2006

i was at the store and there were hundreds of people coming in and going out, and because of this, we ran out of something. my co-worker was a grumpy old woman. we left the store, and went to sackville. by the time i got to sackville i was no longer gone to get something for the store, but i was with a school group. i said to myself "well, i know my way around sackville, i don't need to stay with the group." but i totally got lost.

it was a huge place, and i went the wrong way and ended up on this big hill that was a park. there was litter everywhere, and it was damp and gross. i kept going, and found myself near the outskirts of town. i ended up finding donnie's dorm room, jack and kevin were there too. they were drunk and unhelpful, they wouldn't tell me how to find the rest of my group. they laughed at me because i got lost, which made me even more upset. i finally got in touch with the rest of tom fun (who were the group i was looking for by this point), and they gave me all sorts of confusing directions ("we'll be somewhere between 1618 and 1623 something street").

i went where they told me, and found myself in narrow narrow alleyways between tall bricky buildings. i went into a narrow hallway and the doors inside had numbers on them like they ones the boys told me to find. it ended up being a funeral or memorial service for a famous artist, or writer, or musician, who i'd never really heard of. ian was really upset that the guy died. there were tons of hippies there, all sad because this person died. they were mad at me for being late.