we were in the many storied building, kind of like holy redeemer gym, to see a rapper from the 80s. a smattering of crowd, but then everyone had to move out of the way. the horse race was coming through. it was the slowest moving horse race in the universe. they looked like they were running full speed, but in slow motion or something.

i went upstairs to look out the window, in a small corner office room. there went the horse race, around the block and then back into the building and up the stairs and through the little room i was in.

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i was playing a show with tom fun. i ordered some sushi at a restaurant before we played. i got a huge meal made up in a styrofoam container. two dragon rolls and a bunch of other stuff. i was so excited to eat it.

we got on the stage, which was the highest stage in the world. like 19 feet high. in this huge room. there was no one in the crowd. literally. darren was standing in this giant empty room. he made us play a few songs anyway, i suppose to fulfill the contract.

so i swung off the edge of the stage, hanging down, and then let go and dropped to the floor. it didn't even hurt my feet. as i walked toward the place where my sushi was supposed to be, i had a sinking feeling in my stomach. i forgot it at the restaurant! like 100 bucks worth of sushi i was looking so forward to eating! the others were saying not to make a big deal of it, just go get more. that's what i was going to do anyway, but i wasn't happy about having to spend that money again. obviously i was pissed.

i was in the bathtub.
just having a normal bath.
suddenly i blink, and things are in a slightly different position. i know exactly what has happened. someone has been in here. i was made unconscious somehow, and woken up again.
but they weren't careful enough. i know that shower head was a few inches to the right.
i am in full panic and fear and discomfort. someone was in here. why?
and if they have the ability to knock me out without my even noticing, how come they were so unskilled as to not leave things in the same position? maybe they wanted me to know they'd been in here. that i was always vulnerable.
i started searching frantically along the walls. and right there, by my head, in an obvious place, was what i was looking for. a bug.
it looked like a watch battery and was stuck to the wall with a little rubbery glue.
i picked it up in the palm of my hand.

i knew that this wasn't the only one. there was no effort made to conceal it, so it was clearly put there to distract from the real bug. i had to decide whether to pretend i thought this was the only bug and i'd found it. i felt that since i couldn't find the real one, there was no sense in pretending i was falling for their plan. it seemed too simple anyway, almost insulting. they'd know i knew. there was something else going on.

so i screamed for help. no one paid any attention to me. i had to run down and show them. i cut the bug into tiny pieces with a pair of scissors as i explained there was definitely another one around here somewhere.

i had no idea what else to do.

my house
occasionally disappeared and reappeared somewhere else
and looked different every time
i only knew
it was mine
by the front door
which stayed the same

but now
so completely comfortable.
why did i lie down in the dewy grass?
because it was worth it.
i saw you
through the mist
squinting a bit
with the sun on my eyelashes
and your arms wrapped round me
giddy, joyful, glowing, comfort, content