my mom and i stood on the beach, watching the big waves break. i loved the moment when they curled over and turned white, and the perfect arc broke into foamy clouds. we waded out, felt the strong push as they hit our stomachs, and the pull on our legs, sinking our feet into the sand.

the waves kept growing bigger and bigger, almost knocking us over, so we walked closer and closer to shore. soon the waves were taller than a person, and we were intimidated. they rose up, and cast long shadows on the shore.

the first one to go was christina from grey's anatomy. she was standing on a car in the middle of the beach. she was the only one out so far. she thought she was tough, thought she would dare the waves, but she wasn't looking behind her. she didn't see how high it towered up. it was as big as a house. it had a frightening power. like a solid wall. it moved so quickly toward her, we didn't even see her disappear. we knew she'd get caught in the swirling undertow.

the next wave came from very far away. all of the water sucked back from the beach. it soared up into the sky, higher than a skyscraper, blocking out the sunlight.
my mom and i started to run, we had to get off the beach onto higher ground. i was trying to figure out where to go, would the buildings fall down? should we try to go on a roof? on foot there were not too many options of escape.

even with this terrifying wave, i scanned the top, needing to see the moment it turned white and started to break.

we had a bit of time, so we were rifling through our belongings in our dresser. i tried to put on as many layers of clothing as i could. i knew this place would be under water if i ever came back. my dad put on his raingear, and i put on thermal socks. it was freezing.

i was on the road, somewhere, and i found that someone had read my journal. they left a little note in it, i didn't recognize the handwriting. it wasn't such a big deal, because there was nothing in it, but the fact they did it and were so mean about it was totally unnerving. i was too upset to do anything, so i asked albert to drive me home. morgan was in the car too, and he and jenna found what happened really funny. it broke my heart, and i felt sick to my stomach. we stopped at a light and melissa was outside of the car, leaning in and asking albert if he had a cigarette lighter. she smiled at me mockingly.

when i got home, i thought i would hide my journal away, planned to lock it in a locked box. but when i got home, i found that the box was open, and all my other journals were scattered about, and the lock was missing. that was insane, this person broke into my house to get to my stuff. i looked in the diaries, and there were notes for me there too, detailing horrible things i've done, calling me a horrible person, saying i deserved to be miserable. just brutal stuff. they even started to get more violent and threatening.

it was a terrible nightmare.

i was going to jam with mike o'neill at his house, which was on taylor street. which was for some reason really long. we drove up and down the street, unable to find his house, even though i'd been there before. finally, i saw him in the window. all the houses looked exactly the same except one, which was white with faint purple speckles, or polka dots, and of course this was the one he lived in.

when i got there i brought way too much gear inside, 2 guitars, 2 amps, and i accidentally brought the left-handed banjo in with me. there was a party going on downstairs, but we were going to jam up the stairs and on the landing in front of the second floor.

mike came down to the living room as i was bringing some more stuff in, and said he wasn't able to jam after all, but that i should enjoy the party. some people were playing guitars, one guy played a song that jack macintosh had written. it had beautiful chords and weird lyrics. i realized that lachie was there, and i was so excited. he had gotten a haircut, and was totally clean shaven and looked really young. he was there with rachael gurstein. i asked lachie if we could jam, and he said he didn't know any of my songs, but i had meant we should jam horses songs.

henry from the show ugly betty was there with his girlfriend. she was this pig nosed lady who always comes in my store to buy papers while reeking of pot. she didn't like me at all, every time i would knock something over or something like that she would yell out "alicia's knocking over your things on purpose. everyone keep an eye on her, she's up to no good!"

later henry and i were watching a movie in my spare room, and i realized he had put his hand in my sweater pocket, so we were holding hands through my sweater.
and that was the end.

i was making myself some toast when i noticed right next to the toaster a package of toast-flavored french fries.

we were at a restaurant, and for some reason i ordered a hot dog, on a subway bun with just mayonnaise (and lots of it.) it was one of the grossest things i had ever tasted.
i also stole a plane.